Spider named squishy.

In my house lives a spider named squishy, why squishy I hear you ask?

Because he is squished….on my bedroom wall!

I went to get in bed the other day (week) and saw him stalking me out the corner of my eye so he got flattened! I do NOT do spiders!! No no and no! Eurgh, yuck!!! And this is why he is still a feature on my wall as I just can’t bring myself to scrape him off ( for incase he’s pretending to be dead and jumps on me! Yup! )

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50 Shades Of OMG!!

If you havent heard of Mr Christian Grey you have not lived! He is the most perfect, richest, slighty messed up, kinkiest, gorgeous hunk of man you will ever come across, yes… he is fictional… *sobsandwailswhhhhyyyy???!!!*

50 Shades of Grey, 50 Shades Darker and 50 Shades Freed by E L James….go buy or dowmload… Your Welcome ūüôā

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*creeps back in*

Yes, yes, yes I know… Ive not blogged in aaages!¬†You’ve¬†missed me¬†haven’t¬†you?…. you have¬†haven’t¬†you?… haven’t¬†you?….hello….? ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†Hmph.

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Everyday I’m shuffling… In my pjs?!

So on my travels today I saw not one, not two but THREE people sporting their nightwear to go shopping! Yup!

The first was an elderly lady doing a determined shuffle to the local shop in her rather nice baby pink fluffy dressing gown, admittedly she was very old so I’m guessing her task for the day was either get dressed or go to the shop and obviously the desire for milk and rich tea biscuits won!
What are the point in rich tea biscuits?! You can’t dunk them as the second they hear the kettle boil they shrivel and break up and they are boring!

Anyways… Next up we have the chav, we all know what one looks like, the gold, the hair, the attitude etc, so she was (again) shuffling at top speed in seriously over worn Ugg boots with tartan Pajama bottoms on!! Why?! But I’m Guessing she was moving quickly because she was somewhat embarrassed? Maybe? Hopefully?

And number three was an elderly gentleman who was shuffling ( again??!! ) round the supermarket in his trusty old slippers! Now I’m gonna give this to him because I would love to wear my slippers everywhere and he was cute!

So it was either national pajama day or Shuffling Tuesday either one of which I was very much not apart of and do not want a reminder to partake in the annual celebration!

So the ultimate conclusion is if your old and doddery this is an acceptable piece of attire however if you’re young and know better then dont… just dont!

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….

“Quietly forgiving and moving on is a gift to yourself.”

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Reminds me of someone I used to know…

Reminds me if someone I used to know...

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When you gotta go…

So whilst shopping I suddenly found myself in a clothes shop with an armful of tops to try on so went into the changing rooms. Whilst half undressed I happened to look down and see my 2 year old’s head peering at me from under the changing room door… luckily for him it was me and not the 50 something lady who had followed me in… he cracked a cheeky grin and then bolted back to his patiently waiting daddy and baby brother. I came out, modelled a top that looked much better on the hanger, went to change and felt that familiar stare from under the door again, modelled a lovely top, which is now in my wardrobe, and the baby little legs started crying for milk, so the toddler followed me whilst MS fed BLL, he then ran back to MS ¬†and I got changed into my normal clothes and went to get MS’s card, MS asked where the toddler was and I said I thought he was with you, in which he replied the same… cue the most gut wrenching fear we have ever¬†experienced¬†EVER!! I ran back into the changing rooms to see if he was hiding whilst shouting to the staff had the seen him, MS ran out into the shopping centre walkway to see if he could spot him then I heard ‘hes here!!’ the relief those words bought to me are¬†indescribable! I snatched him from them and asked where he was – he had been hiding in clothes rail – and and as I hugged him and waved MS back into the shop the all so familiar smell of a dirty nappy wafted into my nostrils¬†that indicated that he had in fact just been taking a peaceful poo in between rails of glitter soaked tops and A-lined skirts…¬†

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How much… HOW MUCH??!!

So yesterday I became a quarter of a century old!! Yes 25, mid 20’s, closer to 30… Where do I start a pension plan? :/
Anyways In order to celebrate the manshape, two little legs and I went shopping in Cambridge. We had a delightful day which involved eating, watching and betting how long a man who was sparko in a coffee shop would stay asleep for…Manshape won that one… Buying stuff for meeee!! And the most amusing moment of a woman slamming into a shop door after pushing and not pulling it despite the large PULL sign! ūüôā playing spot the student, blocking bicycles paths, bickering over whether workmen have to climb the 100 odd foot by ladder to get into the crane and nearly loosing the eldest little legs!!
We decided it was time to head home and whilst MS fought with the double buggy I Went to pay the machine for parking, put the card in and nearly keeled over in shock when it told me how much we owed… I paid… Using MS’s card… And then strolled back to the car, jumping into my seat I looked at MS’s expectant face from the corner of my eye when he asked how much the parking was… I muttered… ¬£16… HOW MUCH??!!

 

ETA : We were there about 5 hours, thats ¬£3.20 an hour, thats like over 5p a minute for the¬†privilege of parking in the car park of a large shopping centre…¬† lucky we didnt have that cake with our coffee to pay it! ;P

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Smells like Teen Spirit…

Not I repeat NOT poo but butternut squash!

Ok so the title is a lie, it actually smells like teething poop! I just felt this title would approach the subject in a somewhat more genteel manner.

This –¬†unfortunately- amongst tantrums, baby sick, cleaning, ant killing, cooking and more tantrums has been the defining feature of my day… I shall divulge..

Poo-splosion: pronounced like explosion, just swap the ex for poo. Consists of baby poo… everywhere, out the sides and over the top of nappies, up the back, round the stomach, in the hair, down legs, on hands, feet you name it, it gets there!

A poo-splosion smeared all over clean jeans that has to stay there until you can put the offending baby down reasonably clean as to not spread more of the acidic mustardy mess everywhere, then stop the toddler from screeching unnecessarily at you, it then becomes quite a nice warm comforting spot on your leg until you remember its there and what it is!

There will be two types if cringing going on here, the first being thise who have not reproduced yet and are thinking omg that will never happen to me, how awful… I was once that naive… it will happen… you have been warned!!

The second being those who may have possibly just remembered their very own warm patch of some description! ūüôā

Whoever said being a mother is glamorous?!

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Aha! Pictures!

Image

So this is how you blog pictures! I like pictures, they make me smile, cry and damn well near wet myself with laughter! Why have I chosen this as my first picture? Simple, it was the first picture when I ‘Googled funny pictures’ that made me smile! You was expecting a long deep meaning wasnt you! ūüôā

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